Another wet summer camping in Brittany. Every year we do this, every bloody year! I hoped, once the kids left home, we’d end this annual nightmare, but he won’t have it. Says he looks forward to meeting up with Maureen and Jim from Barnsley and Betty and Kenneth from Sidcup.
God, the thought of another year, sitting in a leaky tent, listening to Maureen from Barnsley go on about her delphiniums and Kenneth from Sidcup bringing us up to date with his gallstones, is more than I can bear.
Maybe this year I really will throw myself overboard, mid-channel.
An unusual writing challenge at Chris Fielden’s site. To write a 100 word story with as many adverbs in it as you can manage. Every 100 stories he gets he is publishing as an anthology and any money raised is going to First Story.
Terribly Tasty Torso
Claire wishfully looked at Dave’s beautifully sculpted body, laid out lifelessly on her mum’s bed. Unabashedly, she gracefully ran her stylishly manicured fingers through the hairs on his manly chest. “Such a waste,” she muttered mournfully.
“Can’t be helped,” said her mother briskly, in a ruthlessly matter of fact voice. “Regretfully our needs heavily outweigh his. Are you ready?”
Claire nodded remorsefully. Staring at Dave’s brutally battered body, she hungrily parted her lips exposing two extremely sharp fangs. Her mother briskly stepped alongside her. Quickly and effortlessly the women savagely tore at the terribly tasty torso in front of them.
“Good work Jones. We know this Goldilocks character is responsible for the Dumpty murder and the massacre of the Bear family and I’d bet my pension she knows what happened to the Gingerbread Man. All we need now is to find out who her boss is. Anybody with her?”
“Yes sir. The owner of the black car parked out front went up to her room five minutes ago. The car’s registered to a Miss Muffet.“
“Miss Muffet! It can’t be. What the hell is the head of MI6 doing here?”
It was while we were clearing out Grandma’s house that I came across her old shoes. Mum had always told me that, in her younger days, Gran had been quite a tearaway. The locals had called her the ‘Wicked Witch of the West’.
To me she was just a sweet old lady, who smelled a little of old mothballs and lavender soap. I smiled, as I remembered sitting on her lap, listening to her tales of strange lands and winged monkeys.
My thoughts were interrupted when mum shouted, “Dorothy, dear, have you finished in there? It’s time we were going.”
I thrust my hands further into my coat pocket and pulled my collar tighter around my neck. I looked again at my watch. He was late, over thirty minutes late, not like him. I looked across the road at the diner, wondering if I should go inside and wait. No, he’d been quite insistent we meet outside.
I spun round when I heard a voice, one I instantly recognised.
“He’s not coming my love. The man of your dreams, the one you were leaving me for, he’s been detained… permanently! Give me your case sweetheart, it’s time I took you home.”
Surprised they’re not here yet. Could be the traffic I suppose. It can be a nightmare this time of the morning. Wonder if I’ve time for another coffee? What shall I tell them when they arrive?Maybe turn on the tears, say it was all a horrible mistake. I didn’t mean to do it. He attacked me first. That sort of thing. Not true of course. I knew exactly what was going to happen. Just been waiting for the right moment. Wonder what’s keeping them? They should’ve been here ages ago. Surely somebody must have found his body by now?
I’d always known it was going to be a tight contest. The rules had been simple, ‘winner takes all’ and he’d won. Despite my efforts the people had slowly but surely turned against me. The resulting greed, violence, hypocrisy, we’re exactly what he’d wanted. Whatever I had to offer seemed so paltry in comparison. In the end I had no choice but to admit defeat. In my capitulation speech I tried to remain calm and graceful graceful. Lucifer hardly listened, his impatience quite disgusting. So here I am, watching helplessly, as he slowly destroys the world I so lovingly created.