A Christmas Story

6646-santa-sleigh-silhouette-800x600A Christmas Story

“Mission control here. Are you reading us? Come in please. Sorry ma’am we seem to have lost radar contact and he’s not answering his radio.”

“When did you last hear from them?”

“Just over an hour ago ma’am. They were heading down from Greenland  and were due to hit the UK mainland at 12.22am our time.”

“Any message?”

“He just said everything was fine, ma’am. The weather was a little stormy, but nothing they couldn’t handle.”

“No hint of any problems then?”

“No ma’am nothing. Everything was going completely to schedule. I’m sorry ma’am, Mrs. Claus, but it looks like your husband may have crashed somewhere. Do you want me to scramble the search and rescue sleighs?”

“I suppose you’d better. That stupid man, why does he go and choose tonight of all nights to have an accident. Here we are the 25th of December, our busiest night of the year and he decides to go AWOL! You’d better have the back up Santa Sleigh primed, laden and ready to go, just in case.”

`~ ~ ~ ~

“Well Rudolf looks like we’ve done it.”

“Yes boss, though your missus is going to be fuming if she ever finds out.”

“Your problem Rudolf is you panic too much. Relax, I’ve got the whole thing under control. She’s no idea what’s going on.”

“I hope you’re right boss. I still thing your taking a big risk, You’re not going to change your mind though, are you?”

“You’re right there Rudolf. This is my big chance. If I don’t do this now I never will. By the way, how are your boys doing?

“They’re fine boss, though they’re getting a bit restless. They’re not used to all this hanging around, especially tonight. I’m a bit worried about old Prancer. He shouldn’t really have come out tonight, he’s got a horrible barking cough.”

“Tell them we’ll be off again soon. In the meantime I’ve got some thermos flasks in the back of the sleigh. Why don’t you go and give your lads a nice hot cup of vanilla milk to keep them going?”

“Yeah, but what then boss? You know I’ve not been happy with this hare brained plan of yours. It won’t work you know. If Mrs Claus finds out, there’ll be hell to pay.”

“There you go, panicking again Rudolf. Relax everything will work out just fine as long as you remember what you’ve got to do. Right, come on, time we were going. Mission Control will be sending out search parties soon.”

“So it’s Willows Crescent then is it boss?”

“That’s right 72 Willows Crescent where the lovely, amorous Mrs. Tidings is waiting for me. Did I tell you she was a widow Rudolf?”

“Yes boss, lot’s of times.”

“Every year for the last 5 years she has been trying to persuade me to leave Mrs Claus, retire and go and live with her and now that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to be so happy Rudolf. She’s everything Mrs. Claus isn’t. She’s kind, attentive and very good-looking. On top of all that she’s also a wonderful cook. Those full crusted mince pies she makes me every year are absolutely sublime, so rich and at the same time the pastry is soft and the flavour is so subtle.”

“They sound wonderful boss. She seems like a lovely lady this Mrs. Tidings. Hold on tight boss we’re here , 72 Willows Crescent.”

“Well done. Pull up over by the chimney and let me off. You know what you need to do next?”

“Yes boss. We fly over the Scottish mountains and drop a few of our presents down one of the steep slopes to make it look like we’ve had a crash. We then tell Mission Control that the snow storm got worse and in the poor visibility we had to swerve violently to avoid the mountain and that’s when you went over the precipice. We looked but couldn’t find any sign of you at all.”

“Excellent Rudolf. Now don’t forget when you get summoned to the Great Hall to tell your story to Mrs. Claus, remember to bow low and genuflect, you know what a stickler she is for correct etiquette. I’ll look out for you next year. Have a good journey back.”

“Thanks boss. Good luck with Mrs. Tidings.”



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