Right children, if you’re all sitting nice and quiet I’ve got an exciting story to tell you. No, Johnny, it’s not about zombies. Billy, please don’t do that to Melanie’s hair, there’s a good boy. Now, this story happened a long time ago in a little town called Nazareth. What’s that Susie? You’ve been to Nazareth. Have you sweetheart? You went on a train to see your Aunty Joan. That’s nice dear but I think it might be a different town to the one in our story. This Nazareth is in a very hot country, a long way from here. It’s where a girl called Mary lived. No, Sam, it’s not your big sister. She’s in Class 5, isn’t she? That’s not in Nazareth, is it? Billy! I’ve told you before, Melanie doesn’t like you doing that. Stop crying Melanie, I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt you. Billy, I think you need to come and sit here in front of me, don’t you? Sally, dear, can you move over a bit and make a space for Billy. Thank you, darling.
Now, where was I? Oh yes, Mary. Well, Mary was engaged to be married to a man called Joseph. What’s that Jenny? You never going to get married. Well, you’re a bit young to be thinking of weddings. You’ll probably change your mind when you get older. Pardon darling, what was that? You’re not going to get married because your mummy says all men are bastards. Oh dear, I don’t think you should really be using words like that my dear. Remind me to have a little word with mummy at home time. Did you want to say something, Billy? Speak up, dear. Your daddy says you’re a little bastard. I’m sure he doesn’t mean it dear. Remind me to have a little word with your daddy when he picks you up.
Now back to our story. One night, before Mary and Joseph were married, an angel came to see Mary. Does anybody know what an angel is? What was that Benjamin? Your uncle is a Hells Angel and rides a big motorbike. Well, that’s nice dear but I was thinking of a different sort of angel. This one was a messenger from God. Pardon Benjamin? It couldn’t have been your uncle you say because he’s in prison and doesn’t know anyone called God. That’s a shame dear.
No, the angel in this story was someone very special with an important message for Mary. What was that Lisa? Why did God send an angel, why didn’t he just send Mary a text? Well dear, back in those days they didn’t have mobile phones. What’s that Sally? Your Gran has just got a mobile phone, that’s nice. Oh, she doesn’t like it. Can’t get it to work. That’s a shame dear. Old people do find these new gadgets a little difficult sometimes. What’s that dear? Your Gran’s not old, she’s younger than me. That’s nice dear.
Anyway, the angel told Mary she was going to have a baby. No Penny, the angel wasn’t the daddy, God was. That’s right Simon, Mary was engaged to Joseph. No, he didn’t know about the baby. Yes, I think he was quite angry. No, he didn’t go and have a fight with God.
What’s that Lucy? Your big sister is having a baby. That’s nice dear. Oh, it’s not nice you say. She won’t tell your daddy who the father is because he says he’s going to kill him. I’m sure he doesn’t mean it, dear. No, Simon, I don’t think God is the father of Lucy’s sister’s baby.
Let’s get back to the story. Billy, put my shoe back on, there’s a dear. The other foot please Billy. Benjamin, don’t wipe your nose on your sleeve, there’s a darling. Come and get a tissue from my box. No, Billy, don’t throw the box the Benjamin. Oh dear, now look what you’ve done. Stop crying Annie, there’s a good girl. I’m sure it didn’t hurt that much.
Goodness gracious me, look at the time. Time to get your coats on ready to go home. We’ll finish this story tomorrow. Billy, what have you done with my shoes? Now be a good boy and tell me where you’ve hidden them, there’s a dear.
Billy, come back here!