Posted in Flash Fiction

A Bargain

A short story for this week’s ‘Light & Shade’ challenge. The prompt is –‘You pays your money and you takes your choice.’

A Bargain

“You pays your money and you takes your choice.”

“ I know Mr. Fletcher, you keep telling me but I’ve been all over your site and I can’t see anywhere where I can choose from.”

“You pays your money and you takes your choice.”

“As you know Mr. Fletcher, I’ve done the first bit. The £25,000 has been paid. I’ve checked, it’s left my account and gone into yours. Now all I need from you is some information about how I go about choosing. As I’ve said, a few times now, your website is a bit vague in that department.”

“You pays your money and you takes your choice.”

“Thank you for that Mr. Fletcher. I’m now wondering how we might move this conversation on. I do appreciate what it is that you keep telling me, a simple enough message I agree but, if you don’t mind me saying, it is a little unhelpful. Maybe, if it’s not too much trouble, you could describe in more detail, this ‘choice’ that you talk about?”

“You pays your money and you takes your choice.”

“Quite so Mr. Fletcher but if you say it again I’m going to kill you. I don’t wish to sound angry Mr. Fletcher, I’m not an aggressive person but I am finding this situation a little infuriating. You see, I had to take the money, the £25,000, from our joint account and the wife doesn’t know about it. If she finds out before I’ve made my choice … well, I hate to think what she might do!”

“You pays your money and you takes your choice.”

“I bloody well know that! I’m sorry Mr. Fletcher. Do accept my sincere apologies. It is most unlike me to use such foul and abusive language. I don’t know what came over me. I think it must be the stress. It’s just I can’t stand being with her any longer, the wife that is. I know it’s none of your concern but the woman is a nightmare and this is my only way out. Please, just give me a choice.”

“You pays your …”

“Mr. Fletcher! Mr. Fletcher! For God’s sake man, what are you doing? Please don’t hang up on me. You promised. Your advert said I could choose a new wife for a knockdown price of £25,000. Please Mr. Fletcher, I beg you, let me choose a new wife. Anyone will do, I’m not fussy. Mr. Fletcher?




Now that I'm retired I have more time to devote to writing my blog and creating short stories.

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