Posted in Flash Fiction

What Would You Do If You Were Abducted By Aliens?

Sometimes a silly story comes into your head and wont go away until it’s written down. That’s what happened with this week’s Trifecta prompt, where you had to use the word ‘bitch’ with this definition. ‘BITCH (noun): something that is extremely difficult, objectionable or unpleasant.’

A Week Away

“How’s it going Billy? Not seen you for a while, been away on holiday?

“Kind of Jimmy. Not so much a holiday, more what you might call an experience.”

“Sounds a bit exotic mate. Where was it then? Some desert island in the sun?

“If I tell you Jimmy, will you promise not to tell anyone. I wouldn’t want my Maggie finding out.”

“Of course mate. My lips are sealed. Go on then, where have you been?”

“The Planet Zong, Jimmy. I’ve spent the last week on the Planet Zong.”

“Planet Zong? That’s a new one on me Billy. What is it? One of those posh new theme parks? Next you’ll be telling me it was all expenses paid and you were waited on, hand and foot, by delectable young maidens. You weren’t were you? Waited on, hand and foot, by delectable young maidens, I mean?”

“Well, sort of. I was walking home from the pub last Friday when this spaceship landed in a field and I was abducted by aliens.”

“Oh yeah. So what were they like these aliens? Bright green with no eyes and long slimy fingers?”

“Don’t be daft Jimmy, you’re getting mixed up with the inhabitants of Planet Xedo. These aliens were from Zong. The whole planet is inhabited by tall, beautiful, sexy young women. They wanted to study a male Earthling and chose me.”

“Go on! So what did they do to you?”

“Sorry mate I can’t tell you, they made me promise. All I’ll say was I could have stayed there forever, it was fantastic.”

“So why didn’t you mate? If it was that wonderful why did you come back?”

“Had no choice Jimmy. My library books are due back tomorrow and I’ve an appointment with the chiropodist on Wednesday. The girls were devastated. They begged me not to leave.”

“That’s life for you mate, at times it can be a right bitch.”


Click here – Trifecta: Week Sixty-One – to see how others interpreted the prompt.


30 thoughts on “What Would You Do If You Were Abducted By Aliens?

    1. Even though I’ve lived in the North of England for over 45 years I was actually born & bred just 40 miles south of London. I sometimes think my ‘Southern Accent’ comes out in my dialogue.
      Thanks for your comments.


    1. I’d never heard of Billy Pilgrim – so looked the name up on Google & as a consequence I’ve just downloaded Slaughterhouse Five to my Kindle. Looking forward to reading it.
      Thanks for your comments.


    1. You’ve obviously not met some of the librarians I have in the past – scary ladies. You wouldn’t want to cross them, however much fun you might be having.
      Thanks for your comments Rachael.


  1. Ha! This is a funny little story – I loved it. The matter-of-fact way in which he tells the story, and the way his friend so matter-of-factly accepts it, just about killed me. Hysterical.


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