Posted in Flash Fiction

The Hospital Bed – Day 4

Stephanie over at ‘BeKindRewrite is once again hosting ‘Voice Week’ – “Voice Week is an experimental writing challenge to help us stretch our versatility in voice and tone. Each Voice Week participant writes five versions of the same story – from five different points of view. Then, October 1 through 5, we post, compare, sharpen, and grow.”

Here is my 100 word story for Day 4 and my fourth voice.


The Hospital Bed

It’s like presiding over some grisly tug-of-war. All this wailing and gnashing of teeth is not going to make an ounce of difference, he doesn’t know any of them are here. I just wish Mrs. Jones would give me the nod and we can end this farce. I’ve given her my professional opinion, she knows there’s no hope, what is she waiting for. If we could get this machine switched off by lunch time I might still be able to harvest the liver before the end of the day. God knows we desperately need it.

Mike Jackson©2012


12 thoughts on “The Hospital Bed – Day 4

  1. Another interesting character voice, though not as strong as the others. Not sure why, though. I’m enjoying this whole concept, Everyone coming together over the dying Jimmy Jones. Don’t know who I want to hear from last, the patient? Or his wife!


    1. Thanks for your comments Paul.
      I think I should have had this voice concentrating more on his desire for organ parts – might then have been stronger.


  2. Ahh, the doctor, I presume? Sounds male to me,a professional mind who can see Jones’ situation objectively, needing to fulfil his duty to other patients. An interesting choice for today’s voice.

    I’m curious about tomorrow; I assumed Mr Jones would come in at some point, but if he’s too far gone, his voice might not tell us much. Mrs Jones, then? I look forward to finding out tomorrow!


  3. Ditto what LoveTheBadGuy says. And you add an extra piece of interest with the wife’s hesitation to pull the plug – does she love him after all? Or does she know she’s not in the will and she’s hoping he’ll wake up enough to change it?


I look forward to reading your comments

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