Posted in Flash Fiction, Haibun

‘Love Is Forever’ – A Haibun For The Sunday Whirl

Sunday Whirl time again. Struggled with this wordle so decided on my version of a haibun (a short piece of prose finished off with a haiku)

Love Is Forever

Too much water under too many bridges. She remembered the beginning, how he had tried so hard to straighten her out, drag her screaming from the abyss. That’s love for you, but it never lasts.  Her  demands for his constant attention had run him ragged, stretched his patience to breaking point. Last night he’d told her enough was enough, he was leaving.

As she lay in bed watching the dark clouds rolling across the sky she thought about their last hours together. In between the screams and the tears she’d promised to change. His wistful nods told her he’d heard it all before. The glazed look in his eyes a sign that he could take no more.

She looked down at the bloody, rusted-out blade. Now that he was gone, what was there to keep her from going too?

you said it was love
that kept us both together –
couldn’t let you leave

MikeJackson©2011

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Author:

Now that I'm retired I have more time to devote to writing my blog and creating short stories.

34 thoughts on “‘Love Is Forever’ – A Haibun For The Sunday Whirl

  1. Ouch… this hits home in so many ways. You would never know you had fashioned it around prompt words at all.
    A great story in such few words. I guess in truth love does have its own limits. We can only be ‘there’ for someone we love if they are willing to work with us to help them fix their problems. If they keep repeating the same mistakes, how do we help, then? Sometimes the only way we can help is to walk away and then maybe, they’ll see the mistakes they’ve made but, this doesn’t sound as if it has a happy ending at all.
    Great writing Mike!

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  2. We both went toward an ending with blades. LOL Excellent write, Mike. Now I want to try one of these halibun’s. Thanks for your faithful participation. I love your work each week.

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    1. Many thanks Irene.
      Talking of love …. I found this quote – “Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’ ” (Erich Fromm)

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  3. Thank-you for introducing me to the haibun. I need to study what makes it thus:) Thank-you as well for the link in the above comment. This is a great piece of writing, drawing the reader in emotionally from the first line. The chilling end sadly completes it. Thank-you for visiting my blog and for your kind words.

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    1. Thanks for dropping by Janet.
      I’m glad you enjoyed this haibun and thanks for your comments.
      I hope you will have a go at a haibun – they are great fun.

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  4. Thanks for the introduction to the haibun form, Mike, and great job on a dark piece about obsession appearing to be love. I wasn’t expecting such implied violence at the end, but it fit.

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    1. Hi Laurie, thanks for your comments. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
      I’ve tried commenting on your story a couple of times but am having real problems commenting on any blogger blogs!
      !’m off to try again.

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  5. Mike, you just have the knack for wordles. You write a riveting story or poem, and somehow, the wordle is in there. Saying the inclusion of the wordle words is seamless doesn’t come close to explaining what you do. I look forward to your effort every week.

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  6. Eeeew…sick woman.

    You really captured the moment for one to be inside the minds of the characters, as well as to understand the toils and troubles of the past.

    And a haiku gets to rolling around in her head after the bloody scene…sick.

    Great post

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  7. Wow – powerful and I am left with the image of the bloody, rusted out blade. The haiku is really strong to sum up. I really like this form, and you have done well with it.

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