Posted in Other Poems, Poetry

The Sunday Whirl – ‘Tired Blooms’

The Sunday Whirl wordle words are always such a challenge. For this group I eventually chose to write an Ethereee poem – a 10 line poem with line 1 being just 1 syllable, line 2 having 2 syllables, and so on.

Some words were difficult to use. I look forward to any comments.

These
studded
women, skirts
hitched high, false
painted smiles on their
pallid faces, wait silently
for the hordes of goofy men
with birdlike brains to crawl in to
the bar, obese bodies quivering with
lust as they choose from racks of tired blooms.

MikeJackson©2011

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Author:

Now that I'm retired I have more time to devote to writing my blog and creating short stories.

29 thoughts on “The Sunday Whirl – ‘Tired Blooms’

  1. Thank you, Mike, for giving the men the adjective birdlike, and for using it to describe their brains. LOL Your piece carries truth….sad truth, but those people are out there, hoping to score. Well written wordle.

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  2. An Ethereee poem done to perfection and liked your take, for a change it is ‘goofy men with birdlike brains’ and not the other sex :D. There is so much restriction and yet you managed the wordle words excellently in those few lines!! It looks so effortlessly done!! Bravo!!

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    1. Thank you for your kind words Nanka.
      I found these words a real challenge and at the same time they kept drawing me down this path however many times I tried to change direction.

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  3. I like this a lot, and to have accomplished it in an etheree form is amazing. The characters in YOUR poem have an uncanny resemblance to a character in mine. LOL.

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  4. I like what you did here… great form, and says so much, very concisely. I too gave “birdlike” to a man, because it is so often used to describe women.

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I look forward to reading your comments

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