Posted in Flash Fiction, Haibun

Screw You – A Haibun for The Sunday Whirl

I have decided to attempt a haibun. “A haibun is a terse, relatively short prose in the haiku style. Haibun usually end with a haiku. The haiku should link to the prose but is not a direct carry on from it.” I still have a long way to go so would welcome any thoughts.

“Screw you!” I shout through bloody cracked lips. He stares at me, slouched on the cold granite floor and smiles. The ash from his cigarette drops onto his cheap suit. He slowly bends down and spins the bottle again. I watch its slow revolution desperate for it to point at someone else. My silent prayer is wasted. In the dim light I can see the relief on their faces. It was my turn again to have all sins cleansed from my body.

half-light and silence
waiting my turn to repent
confessional box

MikeJackson©2011

This was written in response to the wordle from ‘The Sunday Whirl’ – I’ve managed to use all the words.

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Author:

Now that I'm retired I have more time to devote to writing my blog and creating short stories.

16 thoughts on “Screw You – A Haibun for The Sunday Whirl

  1. What an interesting form, I am intrigued. Thank you for introducing it, Mike. Great write….your haiku links beautifully to the prose. Suggestion…remove “the” from your first sentence. I will be trying my hand at a haibun sometime soon. Cool form.

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  2. I love this form. Have tried it only once. You have done an admirable job of using the wordle words. Your poem does a great job of describing a fascinating situation.

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  3. Oh, Mike. Every time I think I have a handle on a form, a variation appears. At least this one allows for more depth that a haiku. I must say, you play an entirely different game of spin the bottle than I ever did. Must be a tough neighborhood.

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  4. “Spin the Bottle” meets the Spanish Inquisition? Twisted…

    Thanks for introducing a new form to the Whirl, Mike. Great use of the wordle in the prose, and an excellent haiku to finish.

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I look forward to reading your comments

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