“What now! You must be joking! No, I’m sorry about that, I wasn’t meaning you. I’ve just got a telepathic message telling me that all the exits to the world have been closed until further notice. That’s so annoying, just as I was getting ready to leave. When I say all the exits of the world have been closed I am of course talking about the exits between my world and yours. I know this will come as a bit of a shock to you. It never fails to amaze me just how insular you humans are. You have this belief that you are the
When I say all the exits of the world have been closed I am of course talking about the exits between my world and yours. I know this will come as a bit of a shock to you. It never fails to amaze me just how insular you humans are. You have this belief that you are the centre of the Universe and that no one else exists. Obviously, you are completely wrong but it is that simple naivety that drew me to your world in the first place.
Forgive me, I can tell by the look on your face that you haven’t the foggiest idea what I’m talking about. Let me try to explain. First of all my name is Martha and you are, wait a minute I’ve nearly got it, that’s right, you’re Sandra, married to Colin and two children Billy and Cheryl. Now don’t look so worried Sandra, I can read minds that’s how I got that information. In fact, everyone in my world can read minds, so useful, means we don’t have to bother with trivial things like conversations, e-mails, phones or texting.
Anyway, Sandra, as I was saying my name is Martha. Well, actually it’s not my real name, just the one I use when I’m visiting your world. My real name is, well it’s… No, sorry, there’s no way I can translate my name into your human language. It’s far too complicated. I could write it down for you but then it would take you three of your Earth years to read it. Best if you just call me Martha.
Where was I? Oh, that’s right I was telling you about my world. Well, it sits right alongside yours. Now I know what you’re thinking. You are imagining I’ve come from one of those planets up in the sky. From Mars or Venus or maybe even Saturn, but I haven’t. No the fact of the matter is that there is another world right here next to yours. You can’t see it but it’s there.
Oh dear, you’re looking confused again. I’m sorry but I am trying to make this as simple as possible. You see scattered across your world there are a number of portals or exits that connect my world to yours. It’s what allows me to travel here. These exits are a bit like doorways, except they are not doors and you can’t see them. But if you could see one it would allow you to step through into my world. Well actually no you couldn’t. If you did by chance, find one of these exits and walked through it then our security lasers would exterminate you and any bits left would be pushed back onto this side.
Now you’re looking worried. I’m sorry Sandra I didn’t mean to frighten you. Look there’s no need to be alarmed. There is no way you could ever find one of these exits so just forget about the security lasers. I’m used to these exits and even I sometimes have difficulty finding them. In fact, it’s taken me over a week to find this one. Only to find out they’ve all been closed. There I was hoping to be back home by tea-time.
Sorry, Sandra, could you just excuse me for a moment, I’m getting another message coming through. Oh, great news. Well, Sandra I must dash, they’ve just announced that all exits are open again. If I hurry I should be able to avoid the rush hour. Now, remember what I said about laser beams. Best you don’t try and follow me. Goodbye, it’s been lovely meeting you.”
“Who was that Beryl?”
“Do you know Janice I’m not really sure. I was stood here in the bus queue when she started talking to me. She was convinced my name was Sandra and I was married with two kids.”
“But you haven’t got any kids. You told me you and you’re Billy couldn’t have kids.”
“I know, but she didn’t give me the chance to tell her. Said she was from another world and was looking for some sort of doorway to take her home. You do meet some strange folk around here. Did you see which way she went?”
“Funny you should ask Beryl. I’ve been watching her. She’s just walked straight through that brick wall over there and disappeared completely.”