Posted in Flash Fiction



“Billy, you’re not going to believe this, I’m immortal.”

“You’re what?”

“Immortal. I can’t die. Whatever happens it’s impossible for me to be killed. What do you think of that?”

“Yeah. Sounds great. So how come you’ve only just discovered that you’ve got this immortality thing?”

“I haven’t just discovered it. Up until yesterday I was just like you and anyone else. I could have dropped dead at any time, been run over by a bus, been shot in a bank raid, anything, then I saw the advert.”

“Advert. What advert?”

“This one. It was in last night’s Echo. I’ll read it to you, ‘Tired of waiting to die? Afraid what fate might have in store for you? Why not try my miracle cure – guaranteed to make you immortal. Stocks limited so don’t miss out – telephone 07896546 immediately’ What do you think of that?”

“Sounds a bit dodgy to me. You didn’t phone, did you?”

“Course I did. I met up with Meg, she’s the creator of the Immortal Elixir.”

“Immortal Elixir! You’re kidding aren’t you? Please tell me you didn’t fall for this?”

“She told me about people like you, sceptics. She spends all her life looking out for worthy people like me that she can pass this miracle drink on to.”

“How much?”

“What do you mean how much?”

“How much did you give her? I assume she didn’t just hand over this miracle drink for nothing.”

“Of course I paid her, but it wasn’t for the drink, it was so that she can carry on her important research work and help more people like me.”

“More mugs like you! Go on then, how much did you give her?”

“A thousand pounds.”

“What! You gave some nutter a thousand pounds  for a bottle of stuff that’s more likely to make you throw up than become immortal. You are mad!”

“You’ll see. When I’m still around  hundreds of years from now then you’ll know I was right. What will you say then eh?”

“I won’t be around you idiot. I’ll be dead!”

“No you won’t. Meg gave me a special deal. Two bottles for the price of one. So I got one for you.”

“Wow! Thanks mate. So what does it taste like? Did it make you sick? It doesn’t hurt does it, this immortality thing ……….



12 thoughts on “Immortal

  1. Once again Mike, you make me laugh! Love the twist ending, very funny. I also love that it is total dialogue again. I think I may have to try this.


    1. Thanks for your comments.
      The original ending was more serious than this but I felt it was too long winded. So I reverted to short & sharp & hopefully funny.


    1. Glad you liked it & thanks for your comments.
      You’re right – we are all quick to criticise but more than happy to join in if we think there’s something in it for us.


  2. Glad you liked it.
    I have a habit at the moment of taking serious subject matter and trying to see the funny side. I really ought to stop doing this!


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